Wednesday, August 29, 2007

School Is In Session

This was the first week back at Pitt. I have quite the variety of classes - none of them have much to do with my degree. I had needed to pick only 13 credits to reach the required 120. When I chose my classes I settled on Intro to Film (its a lit class), Romance and Fantasy Literature, Childhood Literature, Intro to Basic Computer Programming, and Soccer. Interesting eh? Well it involves A LOT of reading. Maybe I was crazy to take three literature classes in one semester? Oh well, at least I'll be finished by December. Hard to imagine being completely done with school. Also hard to imagine it'll be 5 years this June since I graduated high school. It really does not feel like it has been so long already...where does the time go!?

I was talking with my brother (a senior at the high school now) at dinner tonight about certain little things in the school; hall monitors who still watch over seniors on the senior patio, pickle races on the cafeteria windows, how fun it is to work in the guidance office and how to sign up for 'office duty', even the types of hair cuts some of the teachers have had over the years. Thats what I love about Deer Lakes. Sure we all complain about our mold problem in the building and how small our school district is, but in reality, its a great little township. Everyone knows everyone and very little changes over time. I like that, I hope to raise a family in West Deer in the future.

Another step in the planing of my wedding is coming up. Today the florist FINALLY returned my call. I had been trying to get a hold of her for a week and was beginning to give up. Back in November at the bridal gown event where I got my dress, I had caught a bouquet from a florist. As a result, I won a $250 gift certificate toward my flowers for my wedding. So obviously, I was anxious to hear back from the florist where I have a nice $250 discount! My mom and I will meet with her next Friday to look at options! Its so exciting! Now I just have to find some pictures of floral arrangements I like. Tulips are my favorite, maybe I'll be able to find some examples of tulips in arrangements!

Lastly, as of Tuesday, it has been one month since Tony and the guys deployed. One long month down, about 5 or 6 more to go. There is no way to tell this early when they will be back. Could be 5 months from now, could be 6. Anyone familiar with the Marines knows that days/times ALWAYS change at least once! Don't try to figure it out, it'll drive ya crazy so we just guess and wait! :)

Friday, August 24, 2007

Another Year Older...

Well yesterday I turned 22. To me, it sounds a lot older than 21, I mean obviously it is, but it seems a lot older. Maybe its just my imagination!

Aside from missing Tony, I had a great birthday! My parents got me awesome pots and pans! Never thought I'd see the day where a box with pots and pans as a gift would make me so happy, haha! Guess thats part of getting older. I also got 2 sets of coca-cola glasses. Its a long story but they were an item Tony and I had an argument over putting in our wedding registry. I see nothing wrong with them, I barely remember what we were fighting about. So my parents thought it was hilarious to get them. Haha! I like them though! :) I also got a video game for my hand held Nintendo DS game (quite a variety of gifts eh?) I'll always be a kid at heart playing video games!

Yesterday, mom and I made the rounds, returning some DVDs to Walmart that I have already (I have 200 DVDs so its hard to buy me ones I don't have, but they were awesome DVDs that my brother got me! Guess thats why I have them and why he picked them!) They had no power for some reason, so we were shoved out the door with the cash refund instead of finding something to exchange it for. Oh well, more business for Target up the street! Which was what my mother and I did; we returned some shirts that were too large. I exchanged one and since we couldn't find the other color anymore, I got another DS game and save the date cards to send out to my out of state guests. Most of them are Tony's family on both his mother and father's side, they will be coming from Virginia, New Jersey, and Florida mostly so I like these save the date cards for a heads up before I send the formal invitations.

I also had a lovely long Birthday phone call from my marine yesterday! He called at about 9:30am (7:30pm Greece time) we talked for like 40 mins, it was a great present! Its so nice to talk on the phone for longer than five minutes. It just helps this whole situation and fuels me for another few days or weeks with out a call. He has been emailing me nearly every day, that helps too.

Last night, my kitty Jasper had an appointment at the vet's office. We suspect he might be diabetic. He has all of the symptoms: extreme hunger, loss of weight, constant urination, drinking a lot of water, and just not himself. My mom and I drove him out to the vet. Poor Jasper was so stressed in the car ride that he messed himself the whole way. OH what an awful smell!! So it was a long and smelly ride for all three of us! Once we got him there, the vet assistant had her work cut out for her, good thing she is young and eager to learn! He stayed the night since he was a little dehydrated and very messy. So first thing this morning we got a call saying our suspicions were correct and he is indeed diabetic. Poor guy's sugar was 450! Apparently blood sugar levels in cats are similar to humans, so he should be between 80 and 120. Poor Jasper must have felt so goofy with sugar that high. We will treat him with insulin. Our critters are part of the family, I guess some people would put their animals down if they have diabetes and they do not want to fund for the insulin treatment. We can't do that!

So my Birthday turned out better than I expected. I have a great family and wonderful friends who sent me lots of online Birthday wishes. It was my last Birthday as a single lady (legally) Next year I will turn 23 as a married woman! :)

Monday, August 20, 2007

My Hero is on a Ship...

*Tony's home away from home for the next 6 months*


*Tony and I at 3:00am the day he deployed*

Tomorrow will be the three week mark since Tony deployed. It feels much much longer to me. Feels like forever almost. I hope that when school starts up next week that time will move a little bit faster. This is my last semester of college. I cannot wait to be finished. School is not very "fun" for me! Most people love it and dread the day they graduate. Maybe if I lived there I'd be singing a different tune. Although, if I lived at school, I am sure I wouldn't have been lucky enough to meet Tony! So I'll take nonfun school, commuting to CCAC for two years, and then commuting into the city every day for another two and a half years instead of parties on campus!! I am so fortune to have a guy like Tony. I am excited to get to the end of this deployment so I can marry my hero. :)

*Tony carrying his weapon before he deployed*


Wedding Bells Ringing

*releasing of the doves after the ceremony*

Cortney and Jim were married this weekend. It was a beautiful day for it. Mild temperatures, blue skies and plenty of sunshine. The ceremony was beautiful and the reception was great. I cried more at this wedding than any other wedding before! Actually I don't think I have ever cried at a wedding. It was just so emotional. I think especially since my wedding is 9 months away. When Cortney was saying her vows she was crying and I think most of the people in the church joined her! But her dress was beautiful. The bridesmaids all looked gorgeous. Everything was so beautiful. I guess I'm next!!


*The original Four Barn Girls All Grown Up*


~My dad took these pictures; They're great! Who needs a wedding photographer!?

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Phonecalls

After two weeks, I finally got my first phone call from Tony yesterday. I was outside pulling weeds around noon and my phone rang. I looked at it and saw an unusual number I didn't recognize and I thought "could it be him??" I answer with a little "hello?" and I hear "I love you sweet heart." Those little words and my whole face lit up. I squealed and told him I love him too. We talked for about 15 or 20 minutes before getting disconnected. He sounds great, much better than the last deployment. I was so excited about this phone call. When I think about it, most people take something so simple as a quick phone call and 'I love you' for granted. I have learned to cherish the little phone calls and survive on the 'I love you.'

He tried to call me again at 4:30pm yesterday. I was in the shower and did not take my phone into the bathroom. I was pretty upset I missed the calls. Even though I had talked to him a few hours before, its still just the fact that I missed him. And to know I can't call back like I could when he was home to say "whoops sorry I was in the shower and forgot my phone." From now on, this phone never leaves my body!

I got another call again this morning at about 9:30. He sounded great again. He was excited to tell me all about France and what he has been up to. Sounds like a vacation rather than a deployment! But in a few weeks he will be training in the Middle East, so that isn't a vacation. I am happy he finally gets to 'see the world' like the recruiters have promised almost every young man who walks into their office. I don't exactly consider being in a war zone in Iraq "seeing the world" since there are many more places in the world than just that. So I am happy for him and I am glad he gets to experience this. I just wish he could come back now that he got to see France! hehe I know it doesn't work that way. So I'll be here waiting and listening to his stories. I stand among the silent ranks :)

Saturday, August 11, 2007

Tourist in My Hometown

Well, Lauren got here safe and sound Thursday evening. Its so exciting to meet a friend you have talked with for over a year on the internet in person finally! While Tony was deployed last year, there were some days I thought I'd go crazy and Lauren would help me cheer up and stick it out. Thanks Lauren!! :)

So Thursday was also the day the tornado touched down in the city and damaged the Carneige Science Center. I saw the aftermath of the storm, pretty impressive. Lauren and I drove out to the barn to see Fanny Thursday evening. It was a quick visit since more storms were on the way and my tires are pretty bald! We brushed her, clipped her fuzzy whiskers, then gave her some goodies and put her back to bed.

Friday we went to the mall for most of the day. We spent hours there but only left with books! Pretty amazing, haha! Then we went to dinner at Monte Cellos with my parents and my brother. Yummmm! We were saying how we wanted to get cute shoes and shirts then go out somewhere for drinks. So we ventured to Target and got some awesome shoes. Then we ventured back home and got all ready. We settled on Sam Morgan's - a bar near Harmarville. So my mom, Lauren, and I boogied down to the bar. They had a DJ and some interesting characters there to say the least! Lauren was a hit with the bandanna man! OH MY! He sure liked her, hahahah. But it was a great time! I don't get out that often so it was really nice to get dressed up in something more flattering than my Blockbuster gear and go somewhere with good people to have good drinks and a good time! I DDed so of course I stuck to my 2 drink max. We were bumpin' the music on the way home, oh good times good times!


Today we headed down to downtown Pittsburgh to do the "tourist" thing! I love it though! My dad took Lauren and I down to Station Square. He had already arranged reservations for the three of us on the Ducky Tour! It was a blast. The tour was about an hour long. They drove us all around downtown Pittsburgh -- showing us some of the most interesting landmarks and giving a history lesson as we went. I was excited because I knew a lot of what they told us from my History of Pittsburgh course I just passed this summer! Then we drove the tour bus INTO the river! Its a boat too! It was so fun...we floated up and down a part of the river. We got to see Point Park, Heinz Field, PNC Park, the Science Center and its submarine, and so much more! After that the boat floated back over to the bank of the river and we drove up onto the path and back over to Station Square. It was really a great tour of the city from both land and river. Highly recommended! I am definitely taking Tony when he gets home! After our Ducky Tour, Lauren and I took the Duquesne Incline to the top of Mt. Washington. She was psyched! The view up on Mt. Washington is spectacular, I never get tired of seeing it! My dad sat out the Incline ride, he isn't one for heights! After the Incline we headed up to Oakland to see Pitt and show Lauren around campus. We ate lunch at Peter's Pub, stopped in the Pitt Shop, got some shirts at the corner shop down the road, looked around the Cathedral of Learning, and peeked in Heinz Chapel (where I will be married in 9 months). It was a busy day but the weather was perfect for it. I love my little city of Pittsburgh and all of its gorgeous landmarks and historical past. I had a blast being a tourist in my hometown! :)



Tonight we are all going to hang out and watch the Steelers. Not sure whats the plan for tomorrow yet, we'll figure it out!!

Tuesday, August 7, 2007

Finally!

At last! Tony sent me an email yesterday evening! I had just gotten home from a meeting at work. I came upstairs to drop off my purse and change into my cozy clothes. I looked over at my computer (which I've been hovering over for days waiting for that email) and thought 'it doesn't hurt to check...' Sure enough there was a nice long email there from him! He said how much it sucks on the ship - it made me feel so bad, I wish I could make it better. I think it motivated me to try to be stronger and be there for him to make his time on the ship less 'sucky.' I've started a little list of things for my first care package. I hope to make it to Walmart before work today to pick up a few things and ship it out either today or tomorrow. Thank goodness for flat-rate USPS boxes! No matter where they are going in the world, its always ends up costing only eight bucks. That completely works for my budget!

He also said how there is definitely going to be a fight between the Marines and Sailors on the ship. Sort of reminds me of high school rivals ready to duke it out after a football game :) I just hope no one gets hurt! And I hope they don't get into trouble. It wouldn't surprise me if the higher-ups took their time off in the ports away as punishment, they would not even think twice about it. So lets hope they behave! He said that there are only certain times throughout the day when the Marines are allowed to use the computers. He also said that the Sailors do random drills which shut off most of the ship to the Marines.These are reasons why he hasn't been able to email me as much as he wants.

So even though the sky is gray, the rain is falling, and the thunder rumbling; today is a much better day for me. Its the first step of getting back into deployment mode!

Monday, August 6, 2007

Monday Monday

I have been trying to figure out why this deployment feels so much worse than the last one. I thought about it for a while; "he isn't in Iraq, its safer...I've done it before, why is it so hard this time?" I've come to the conclusion that its because after Tony got home from Iraq I was so excited to have him home and be able to talk to him any time I felt like it. The deployment had put such an emotional strain on me, becoming so attached to Tony once he got home was extremely easy to do. Thats what is one of the hardest parts of a deployment. They don't have cell phones or 24/7 access to the internet. I allowed myself to become spoiled when he was home from Iraq; able to call or text him any hour of the day just to say 'i love you.' I am going to have to learn to let go of this luxury I had for the past nine months and get back into deployment-mode.

Sometimes I wish I could walk around with a sign hanging from my neck that says, "No, I'm not crazy, my Marine is deployed!" I find myself loosing focus in everything I try to do. I feel like I am constantly in a fog. I'll sit down to watch a movie and lose interest. Then I'll try to organize stuff in my room and loose focus. Even when I was at work the past few days I forgot things I never forgot before. I forgot to give the girl I was working with a drawer in her register. When she went to give a customer their change, there was nothing in there! I've never done that before, not even during my training. There were a few other things I did at work which were silly and just a result of being in a daze, but I forget them already. I can't wait for the 'shock-fog' to go away.

I can sit and wonder for hours: "Where is he right now? What is he doing? I hope he doesn't feel as crappy as I do. I hope time is moving faster for him than it is for me. I wonder when he will call? When will I get another email?" Its enough to drive a girl crazy. Writing this down on a blog seems to help a bit. Usually, I would call up Tony and tell him about my day or what was bothering me. I won't write to him about how hard of a time I'm having right now, it will only bring him down. I don't want to bring him down so I keep my letters and emails relatively happy and positive...

So bare with my goofy posts about my feelings :)


"Sometimes, when one person is missing, the whole world seems depopulated."
~Lamartine


"The reason it hurts so much to separate is because our souls are connected."
~Nicholas Sparks, 'The Notebook'

Saturday, August 4, 2007

Its Not Even A Week Yet?...What?

Well, its Saturday (technically Sunday). Tony left Tuesday, feels like its been weeks rather than days. I miss him terribly. Its funny because I never realized just how often we would call each other. I really notice it when I drive home from work or school. Even on breaks at work, I'd sit down with my drink and call my buddy. And I know I can call my mom, shes my buddy too, but I do miss calling him and it hasn't even been a week...

I think it'll get better as time goes on. Once I get into a routine - like last time. Right now I just feel like I'm standing in a room full of people running around and I am in slow motion just watching them. I did get an email from Tony last night around this time. It made my night. I squealed with joy and my heart began to beat quickly. I needed those few sentences! Every bit helps. So the quick email full of "i love you" and "i miss you" will fuel me up for a few more days before I hear from him again. I think this deployment will be mainly email as communication. I guess since he isn't in a combat zone, they are not so concerned with Marines calling home. Which I guess I understand - I'd MUCH rather he be on a ship than in Iraq.

Today was a busy day. I was up at 6:00 to get over to my grandparents house to help with their neighborhood yard sale. I think they really look forward to me coming to help. We worked hard to get it all set up and nice. I was shocked when it was noon and we still had tons of things! We had nice things for nice prices. My grandma had beautiful things. She didn't sell any of them. I made 19.10 and she only made 4.95. It was discouraging and I felt so bad for my grandma. I suppose the garage sale junkie generation is slowly fading away and being replaced by ebay-ers, what a shame.

Work was slow as well tonight. My boss said "where is everyone?" I replied "they certainly weren't at my garage sale!"

Thursday, August 2, 2007

And So It Begins...

Deployment Number Two has officially begun.

Tony left Tuesday at 6:00am. It was hard. We stood at the base for 3 hours waiting for the buses to arrive. It was sad to look around and see all the marines with their girls and families. Needless to say, most of the girls had the same looks on their faces. I wonder how many stayed up half the night upset like me? I think I did pretty good with it though. Of course I cried, but I wasn't hysterical. Just hugging him outside that bus, then backing up and watching him get on - so hard. As we walked back to the rental car, I couldn't stop the tears. They were automatic but I wasn't hysterical. So I guess that was good. We followed the buses on the hour drive to Morehead City where they would be boarding their ship. We got some good pictures of the ship but I couldn't see Tony. The port was a secured and restricted area. He has already called me like 3 times since this. I am so thankful for that. Last year when he went to Iraq it was maybe a good 10 days before I heard from him after they left the states. I think they shipped off yesterday and it might be another week before I hear from him again. Hopefully he'll get his email address approved or the phones well be working soon. I didn't let my emotions catch up until I was alone in my hotel room. I crawled into bed in a ball and cried myself back to sleep...

The weekend was a great time though. My dad and brother flew down to Jacksonville with me Friday afternoon. Tony was at the airport to greet us. We gave my dad and brother a tour of the base (part of it at least!) The weather was alright - lots of scattered thunderstorms came in out of no where but no all-day rain storms. We went to Onslow Beach for a bit until the lifeguards kicked us out due to lightening sightings. We ate like royalty the whole time, haha. This was my dad's vacation too, I think he enjoyed it! We went to the mall and got stickers and shirts with USMC logos of course. We also took a little drive out to Emerald Isle on Saturday evening. It was beautiful. Sunday we spend most of the day out at Onslow Beach again. Everyone got fried! I advice you all not to use spray on sunscreen, it does not work!! If you do use it, spray is slowly and close and BEFORE going into the sun. Tony didn't wear any and he fell asleep on the beach so he was just red all over. But my brother, dad, and I used the spray and we ended up burnt in blotchy spots. Its not pretty! But it was a blast. The ocean water was so warm. We spent most of the day jumping waves and floating around. The weekend was great. I have a hard time remember what we did which days because they all ran together for me, but they're great memories to last me the next 7 months.

Right now we're only 2 days into this deployment. I miss him like crazy. Even though we don't see each other on a regular basis, I miss being able to call him on my way home from school or before I go to bed. Any time I get the feeling of "omg I miss him..." I write a letter. Thats what I did last time, it seemed to work. At least this next month is crazy busy, it should fly by. This weekend I work and I will be working a neighborhood yard sale at my grandma's house. Next weekend Lauren comes to visit!! YAY! The weekend after that, Cort and Jim get married and Lindsay will be here for that. The 23rd is my birthday. School starts up again the 27th. So that's my August - pretty busy! I'm hoping I will get a lot of hours at work and my VERY LAST SEMESTER of college should keep me busy until December. December!! Thats most of the deployment consumed by my classes. I hope that after the pain of him leaving goes away a bit that time will fly. Lets hope!