T.G.I.F.

So mom and I worked things out. Last week we even went to Walmart and dropped a large amount of money on care package goodies! I guess we both just have a lot on our plates, mom especially, and we take it out on each other. Sometimes we're so alike that our heads just clash like two mountain goats, neither one ready to give in!

I decorated and sent my Thanksgiving package this week. Its pretty dorky but I love it and Tony says he loves them too. I did the Halloween one a lot like this and I
should have taken a picture of it! But he said even the guys thought its cute and creative. LOL OR he is just telling me that so I don't feel silly. Oh well his Christmas, Winter, and New Years ones will be JUST as cute and creative!



The past week is a blur. I had two exams on Tuesday. I spent all of Monday night studying for them. Then I worked Wednesday and Thursday night after school. I got one exam back in my Childhood Literature class already yesterday. With bonus and arguing one of my answers with the prof, I ended up with a 93! I'll take that! Since I failed the last exam! Haha! I believe I'll get the results of the computer exam on Tuesday (oh boy)

And now I find myself sitting here Friday morning. The week is practically over. I'm not complaining though. Because this Tuesday is the HALF WAY POINT of this deployment. Oh thank goodness. This deployment is not as nerve wrecking as the last one. This time, I know he is not running down the streets of Ramadi dodging bullets and IEDs. Sometimes I do get a bit nervous if I hear of a crisis in the Middle East and I worry he might get called out to go there. But then I relax again and remember the news makes everything into a crisis these days. The military defines a crisis a lot differently than the US media.

I got roses the other day too! I think it was Tuesday. I was so surprised. I knew he had gotten me something and it was on its way, but I didn't think it would be roses! They're beautiful and I love them! I know they're just flowers, but its the thought and the effort it takes for him to order the flowers. It just means a lot and even though they'll be very dead in about another week, its that feeling and memory that will stick forever! :)






Today is my day off, YES! I am watching gram for mom while she goes into work for a few hours. I plan on getting caught up on some homework. I might even go to the gym and tanning. I'm waiting to get a call from Torrie to see if she is motivated to go with me. I am so happy for a day off. I have a day off Sunday too. Oh they are so needed!

Good to Bad in a Flash

Today started out fabulous. I got a phone call at 7am from Tony. We talked for 30 mins (cost him $30). Today was supposed to be the day I caught up on my sleep. So I tried to go back to sleep, I was so excited about my call. Then I here "bloop bloop bloop blooop" from my computer. Lauren! Her morning conversation with Scott was, well, not quite as she had hoped it would go. So I listened (watched technically) as she told me whats up. I suggested we go back to sleep, lol. Sleep is the answer! I didn't sleep much longer...but things ended up working out for Lauren, which always makes me glad!

I dragged myself out of bed at 10ish to shower and get ready. I promised my grandparents I'd help them get Autumn/Halloween decorations and set them up. This is a long long story. I wanted to do homework all day but I promised I'd go. Ever since my grandpa passed away, I've had issues about how much time I spend with my remaining three grandparents. I feel like I never spent enough time with him, its something I think about every day. I guess in some demented way, spending time with my other three is something I should do--not be lazy and just do it. You just never know what could happen, guess it goes for any one of us though. Grim but true :-\

I ran some errands after this: pick up DVDs at work, get groceries for mom, get stupid decorations (not sure why I bothered...) for Autumn, home to drop off stuff, back out to get new shoes for soccer, and a game for Tony's Thanksgiving carepackage. I felt tired after all this driving around but I felt good. I was happy. I got a lot of what I wanted to do done. This stuff had been siting in my head for days to do. I still have more. But when I got home, I got into a huge fight with my mom. Its not worth going into...but it shot my mood right down. I tried to apologize, and we talked for a bit, which ended in a fight again.

I can't even think of how to describe how I feel. I am sad, I am angry, I am frustrated, I am lonely. I came into my room, slammed my door and screamed into my robe hanging on my door. I threw things around and I cried. I thought about all the horrible things that have happened in my lifetime. I thought about the loved ones I've lost, the stupid things I've done, about missing Tony and hating the military for taking him away twice in the short time I've known him. And I had an urge to get away from all this. Get away from school, from work, from arguments, from deployments--where could I go. Then I came back to Earth and realized I can't do that. I'm here. I have to deal. I've finally calmed down, but I'm still upset. I just wish my life was normal again - its been so long....



this is a ridiculous post, but it felt good to get out.

Well....or lack-there-of...

I've had no time to post lately. If its not school, its work - or just lack of focus and motivation. Even know its 10 til midnight and I should be in bed. I've become a creature of the night-hard to fall asleep but even harder to wake up each morning. This is not like me, but maybe I'm changing? Maybe its college and working taking its toll? Maybe its these damn deployments...

This morning I was proud I woke up before 9am (I have to leave here at 10). I washed my face, brushed my teeth, and got a shower. About 45 mins later I was finishing up getting ready and sorting my books out when I hear my mom yell up "NIKKI DON'T FLUSH ANYTHING WE HAVE NO WATER" uhmm WHAT? Yep. No water. Yes, its quite lovely out here in the country. Fresh air, no neighbors. BUT, we have a well. This summer was rather dry. It wasn't exactly the hottest summer, but we didn't have a lot of rain. I guess it all caught up with us this morning. My mom was so angry. She had my gram getting ready for her shower and what a shock to turn on the water and have nothing come out. I guess there is a bit of water, but it was so low that it didn't reach the pump. I was thankful to be able to get my shower, but my mom didn't get one and neither did my gram. I felt like it was partially my fault. But if I had known we were low, my shower would have been 3 mins rather than 10...Thus we are on mega conservation mode. Tonight I washed my face with a jug of water and brushed my teeth with my water bottle I had with me at school today. Makes me feel like I'm on Survivor.

Tomorrow I have soccer which involves wearing shorts. The chilly temperatures this weekend did not agree with my smooth, hairless legs. SO, tomorrow I will attempt to shave my legs with my jug of water. Wish me luck.


(ps...tomorrow is 11 weeks down and 15ish to go...please hurry up!)

Nearly 10 weeks down!

Well, today was the hottest October day on record for the city of Pittsburgh with a high of 87 degrees. Way to go mother nature! Break those records!

Today was just a regular Monday: Film class 11:00-12:55, lunch break with my "health" salad, then Fantasy ad Romance lit class from 3:00-4:15. However, this particular Monday I was lucky to get a phone call on my way to school, a phone call on my way home from school, and a quick web cam session with Tony! Days like these are what keep me going.

As for school, I'm behind on all of my reading, but trying my hardest to catch up! I am supposed to have the entire Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring read by Wednesday...sure thing, only 590 pages to go! I'll get RIGHT on that. Tonight I have to read the rest of Go Ask Alice (about 150 pages) and try to start on my Computer Project. Its just overwhelming sometimes.

Friday Tony will be getting back on the ship at 2am his time. I think he is tired of Kuwait so he is ready to get out of there. I'll feel better if he gets out of the middle east as well, however, that means no communication time. Ugh. Just the thought of this is like a rock in my gut. I hate not talking to him, it makes this whole situation even worse. He is excited though because he says all the guys feel like homecoming is right around the corner. I guess because they'll be setting off for home almost a month before they actually hit port in the US. Hey, whatever works for them and keeps their minds there while they go through the deployment!

I've already begun preparations for my Thanksgiving Care Package! haha! This is a bit tough since I can't exactly pack up a turkey, potatoes, and pumpkin pie!! I'll find some creative ideas :) Just wait until Christmas! He might need two boxes for that ;)

Happily, tomorrow marks 10 weeks down and about 16 more to go...almost at the half way point!

TGIF to the max

Yes, Friday, alas! School has been nuts and I have been so looking forward to today. Today I have no work and no school. I have no where I NEED to be and nothing I NEED to do! I can't remember how long its been since this! haha

I have a huge list of things I want to get done. First off, I plan on catching up my homework. This shouldn't be too hard to do (yeah other than the few hundred pages of reading I have)

Tony called me 40 minutes ago. There are no words to explain the excited feeling I get when I see that wacky phone number on my cell phone caller ID. He sounds good, congested though! He said the sand and dust has been getting to his nose, I heard him sneeze a few times. Other than that, he sounds great. Filling me in on all the gossip about the guys. Explaining what you are supposed to use to clean a rifle and how its done. We have a webcam date at 2:30 today! yay! It might be one of the last times I "see" him before he gets back to America. Soon they are going back onto the ship - or back into the no communication mode! No phones, no AIM, just the email provided to them. Even the postal service is very slow and limited. I have gotten spoiled by our daily phone calls. I'm sure Tony has become very accustomed to these daily calls as well. I can't imagine how he must feel all cooped up on a ship for weeks at a time with all those guys and no phones. Its going to be tough to get back into the swing of having little to no phone calls...I hope they got the phones fixed on the ship...

But BOY am I happy its Friday :)