Pass the Motivation, Please

Ah yes, motivation. Something I usually have. But lately, I have very little. This could be the result of a few things. First of, I blame Senioritis. I am in my very last semester at Pitt. I guess you could call me a "super Senior" (this is what Lauren calls it). Its a cute way of saying 5th year student! I'm not sure what I am, since I won't be in school this Spring. Wow, its weird to say that, but I like it. I am very "over" school and most of what it entails. I am tired of the new Freshmen on campus each August who run around like in the halls of my high school. I am most tired of the students who run out in front of my car while I am clearly accelerating! Yes I know pedistrians are usually the ones with the right away. However, its not one or two people, its like 30 people. They look right at you and continue to walk. I'm sure they can smell the burning of my brake pads since I had to slam them on to avoid killing one or two of the students!

Monday this week, I actually screamed out my window at the people. I yelled, "THIS IS NOT A FREAKING CROSS WALK!!" I got a lot of looks but only one or two people stopped and waited on the sidewalk. The worst part is, about 20 yards down the sidewalk there is a crosswalk, is it that hard to walk such a short distance? Monday was a bad day for my morning commute. It usually is. Traffic was horrible. And as I usually do, I got stuck behind many slow vehicles on my drive. I also had many slow people pull out in front of me, then proceed at a snail's pace. That is maddening, there is nothing you can do about it. But tell that to your professors? Most students don't commute any further than a few blocks down the road. I'd love to trade with them just one day so they'd stop complaining.

I think my sleeping habits are leading to my lack of motivation as well. Its not that I like to stay up late playing games or watching movies - quite the opposite. Usually, I work and then end up staying awake until after midnight to try to catch up on my homework. Or, if I do get to sleep at a good time, I can't stay asleep. Sometimes I will wake up 5 times throughout the night. Sometimes to go to the bathroom, sometimes to get a drink, other times from nightmares, many times for no reason at all. There are also a few cases where I wake up to a phone call or an instant message sound from Tony. I don't mind these wake up calls! Last night I had two horrible nightmares. One dream was about the Cathedral of Learning collapsing along with a few other large Pitt buildings (Cathedral of Learning is a 30-something story building at my college, it is the tallest academic building in the US, 2nd tallest in the world). In the other nightmare, I was in Iraq. I saw people murdered in the most disturbing ways. I am not even sure where my mind would have seen such images to recreate in my dreams. It woke me up with such a fright I felt deathly afraid and it took me a little while to fall back to sleep.

I hope my motivation comes back soon. Can't be a slacker at Pitt, its dangerous.