No Job

Since I was 15, I have always had a job. I started at a personal care home as a nurse's aide, pretty eye-opening stuff for a young girl! But oddly, it didn't bother me as much as I would have expected. I stayed there for a few months. I turned 16 that August, and by March had quit the personal care home and started at Rita's Italian Ice. Oh I loved that goofy job. The summer I graduated highschool, my boss promoted me to manager. I really enjoyed it. I was organized and it was A/C in there...works for me! Between seasons I could never find another job that really worked out for me: Eat N Park, Pac Sun, Wet Seal, etc. I was at Rita's 4 years before Steve sold the place. I didn't get a long at all with the new owners. I questioned how they did a lot of things and I think they resented the fact that I knew a heck of a lot more than they did. So into my 5th Ice season, I walked out of my beloved Rita's job. That was the first time I was unemployed for more than a few weeks. I got a job at Blockbuster in August of 2006. Another goofy job I hated to love and loved to hate. I made wonderful friends at that job. When I decided to move to North Carolina with Tony, I left Blockbuster in April of this year for the wedding things and moved to Jacksonville on the 28th. The plan was to transfer to a Blockbuster here - as you can read in my previous post, that did not work out. I even left behind a wonderful horse-sitting job that kept me busy 2-4 times each year when Pam would go out of town. She has already replaced me...

So I have no job. Financially, we're ok because Tony makes enough for both of us. But I'm not used to not working. I wouldn't have minded this a few months back when I was trying to finish up college, but without schoolwork to occupy my time, I feel lost without a job. I was trying really hard to start my own little business with horses. Again as in my previous post, its not working out. I am stuck and frustrated because I don't know how else to promote it. I guess my mom had a point that I am not down here long enough to really get established and well-known with the local equestrians.

I just feel like a big loser as a jobless college grad. Even a little retail job feels ridiculous to me. I have been toying with looking for something, but everything around here is retail and that puts a really bad taste in my mouth. Screaming children and endless lines. I had visted Jacksonville a good amount of times before moving here, but I never noticed how congested EVERYTHING is - oh yeah I hate it. And to top it off, I would need at least 4 long weekends off in the next 3 months for all the wedding things I have going on up north. I think most employers would be very unwelcoming about that.

I also feel like most of my friends are short with me because I have all this "free time." Its not like I get to spend all day with Tony having a blast. He leaves at 5am and sometimes doesn't get home until after 5pm. I sit here alone watching the time pass.

I think I'll try to find a job after September when all the wedding craziness is over....

Well....

Nothing all that new and interesting to talk about here...aside from Dale being very sick two weeks ago. I felt so helpless being all the way down here and only being able to watch from the live-action web cam broadcast. Thankfully, he is doing much better. I made it home a week ago for my brother's graduation ceremony and I was able to spoil the pony with kisses and hugs. It seemed to help his spirits - maybe he missed me? Well, I like to think so, haha!

Things down here are doing ok. I've come to realize this town of Jacksonville is not very "North Carolina-ish" at all. Everyone hears how friendly and southern hospitable North Carolina people are...but Jacksonville is a whole other world of its own. People are not friendly and people are not very hospitable! I think because most of the people here are not natives of this state. I guess since most of the people here are here because they have someone stationed at Camp Lejeune. Those of you familiar with Cranberry Twp, PA can relate to this...I decided that Jacksonville, NC is basically Cranberry Twp on steroids. Everywhere you go, there are very young families with way too many crying kids. I like kids, but these ones are always screaming and crying in the stores. Instead of seeing tons of cute kids and a few crying ones...its the complete opposite! It starts to make you a bit anxious and cranky trying to grocery shop, needless to say.

I quit my job at Blockbuster the first week. Some people might judge me for it, but I don't care. Maybe my old Blockbuster spoiled me. This one was horrible. It was extremely messy and unorganized, I felt so out of place there. The workers were not very friendly - I had no idea where the safe was and I was expected to close on my own my next shift! I took my position there as a Shift Lead manager, and yet I never even left the register. Heck, I never even got a break! I rang out customers nonstop from 4:00 when I got there until midnight when they finally closed. Tony came to visit and he said he took one look at me and knew I was miserable. I actually was holding back tears the majority of my shift. And when I got in my car, I cried the whole way home.

I don't like to "quit" anything, but this was just too much. Its hard enough adjusting to a new city and state, let alone a miserable job. So I was inspired to try out my own small business of equine services - show coaching and prep, grooming, braiding, exercising, and horse-sitting. However, its been really slow starting. I have had a few email conversations, but thats it. Aparently horse showing isn't as large around here as it is in other parts of the state (figures). Its so hard because I am becomming frustrated. I have always wanted to work with horses as a career, but I feel like nobody will give me the chance. I'm determined to keep going, so hopefully things will look up soon.